Future of Still Waters
by Delcy Kuhlman
It was June, 1987 when I spent four days in silent retreat at The Hermitage. I went expecting a time of rest; I returned knowing that I had met God in a way never before experienced and that my life would never be the same again. I knew also that I wanted to create another quiet place where others might encounter God through silence, solitude and spiritual companionship. Thus began the life of Still Waters. It took two years to find this place. It took two lives to make it known as 71 acres of God's lap.
Hundreds of people have expressed gratitude and hope that Still Waters continue forever. While that has been my own desire, I have wondered how it might be. Birthdays come and go and my energy diminishes. My heart loves the gift of nurturing people as they seek God. But a large part of that nurturing comes through love-filled homemade food, lovely well tended gardens, and a wood stove filled with glowing embers. At times it seems that the everyday chores and the call to family relationships demand so much life energy there is no time to make Still Waters grow.
Almost two years ago, the Still Waters leadership team (Alyson Olmstead, Laurie Hartzel, Rob and Sarah Fuste, and Delcy Kuhlman) spent time looking at strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats relating to this ministry. The team heard my fears that weariness was the greatest threat. For years I had hoped that others would feel called to ministry in this place. There are so many ways that Still Waters could be utilized more productively but I can not pursue the good ideas alone. Besides that, if Still Waters is truly one of God's sacred places, leadership must extend beyond Delcy. That meeting propelled the leadership team into an ongoing discernment process. It moved us into transition mode. Little did we expect that it would touch each of our lives so significantly.
We began a process of consulting with others experienced in spiritual direction, retreat, and mission leading. We knew we were entering a time of transition and welcomed the input that these persons could add. It led to brainstorming and excitement over new possibilities, but even more certainly, it has led us each to prayer and discernment in our own lives.
Last February we invited Gene and Mary Herr (the founders and retired directors of The Hermitage) to come lead our team in retreat. I was excited and naive. I was hoping for some specific direction; possibly someone in the group being able and/or willing to co-direct this place. Instead, I experienced God calling me to surrender my own thoughts and desires for Still Waters. I felt willing to share my baby, Still Waters, but it seemed that God was calling members of our team away from Still Waters. I sensed that He was inviting them into deeper discernment in their own lives. The retreat I had so eagerly anticipated became heavy and painful as I feared the future of Still Waters might depend on my own energy to keep it going. I was called to a new level of surrender.
I felt some encouragement as Rob and Sarah asked to work for a collective one part-time position at Still Waters for a couple of months during the summer. It would be a time to be in touch with the every-day nitty-gritty details of maintaining this space. It was a good, yet difficult, experiment. They realized that their desire and passion for interaction with people and ministry extends beyond the prayerfulness of grounds-keeping. I realized how much I have allowed the nitty-gritty of maintenance to sap my energy away from ministry. It inspired me to be more intentional in asking others for some help.
In my heart, I determined to spend one more year simply maintaining status quo here at Still Waters. If God hadplans for this place, He would have to make them known. I would do what I could to grow a volunteer base. We would prayerfully seek to expand our leadership team. But my main task seemed to be more faithfulness to the process of discernment deep within. It feels as though God smilingly invites me to allow deeper Spirit access to my heart issues as I allow Him to lead with Still Waters.
We spent our August team meeting bidding farewell to Rob and Sarah. They had decided that faithful discernment called them to an internship at the Center For Action and Contemplation in New Mexico. We sent them away with anointing, blessing, tears, and prayerful support. The rest of us decided we would meet in November. I agreed half-heartedly, wondering what agenda would be appropriate for status quo mode of operation. During the fall, I was deeply aware of Spirit work within. I gave the inner work my full attention and was careful to leave Rob and Sarah in God's hands.
The November meeting approached and just minutes before our team meeting, I received Rob and Sarah's letter, sharing their sense of God leading them back to Still Waters at the end of their internship. Alyson, Laurie and I read it together, cried, and rejoiced over God's work in their hearts and in the affairs of this small section of God's lap. Each of us had been hoping that they would be the ones who might step into stronger leadership for this place. There is much that lies ahead. We sense that we know some of what God is planning for expanded leadership of this place. We are not yet privy to how the details will be worked out. We know that we are willing, and we know that He will lead.
This issue of the newsletter was planned months ago. It seemed that while God was leading us into so much unknowing, we simply could not get it together for the public. We desired to share the discernment we were called to, yet it seemed that we had to live and pray in the discernment for more time before speaking to you about it. I am guessing that you smile with us at the way things seem to be turning out. I lovingly suggest that you listen in your hearts and open yourself to discernment in your own lives. What is it that God calls you to? What are the areas of unknowing He longs to touch in your own heart? What is the passion that is yours and God's as well? If the work of discernment grows a desire in your heart to help at Still Waters with the how, please tell us. We'd love to share our dreams for the future and how you might be able to help us make them come true.
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